Thoughts on J's social needs

I was talking with J last night, and I asked her of all the activities she participated in yesterday, which was her favorite? She said her favorite was making new friends at the play group. And then she asked me which one did I thought she would pick? I said, well, I wasn't sure, (but it sure was not what you picked-didn't tell her that).

But I noticed that she didn't play with her former school friends at the garden party as much. At least that was my impression. So I asked her about that, and she said she didn't feel like playing with her friends at Girl Scott at that time. But then she said, she would next time. Hmmm......and another mom just give us her info so that we can set up a play date.

So I feel there is conflicting information: one is she likes to play with friends, or at least find new friends; second is depending on her mood, sometimes she doesn't.

I know Beth Sutton, founder of Enki Education, told me in a consultation, to give J opportunity to play with her friends; not in a class setting, but just opportunity to play and that I will see more of that desire in J as she grows older. Maybe that's the difference: Girl Scott is more agenda focused; and the Tuesday morning group is more play focused.

I have noticed J gets excited whenever she makes a new friend. Yesterday, she told me she made a new friend at her choir class and showed me the lollipop her friend gave to her. And when her former classmates saw her at school, again they were all excited and was waving and saying hi to J, and told J they missed her. It was really cute. Couple moms even came up to me and told me their daughter told them J is no longer in school and that their daughter really misses J. But J? I'm almost embarrassed to put this on the blog, but J says she does not miss them. I wonder if she is just saying that or what? It definitely makes me wonder why that is so?

Previously, she wrote a "Thank You" card to her class and to her school (her own idea), and it was very nice, very polite but I noticed there's no "I miss you" type of sentiments and asked her about that. She said that's because she does not. But she'll say that to me many times and is very attached to me and I feel an emotionally sensitive/mature child so I'm just baffled on this. On the flip side, I'm glad she is not so attached to her friends and stays a lot closer to the family. Maybe its just as Beth S. said, she is still an young child. Beth also said that J, unlike most other first graders, who are working on opening their areas of development, J's is already open. Our goal for J is to have them remain open. (If you have no idea what I meant by that, that's okay. I'm just reminding myself of what Beth said.)

One thing I have noticed is whenever J or Prime goes on a play date, if I tell them we need to go, they never cry to stay, or make a scene, not even when they were little. The most they do, is ask for 5 more minutes or dawdle for just a little bit. I am not sure if its because they are obedient children or just not as attached to their friends. I'm thinking its probably both.

I think I will have to pray for wisdom on this issue; to understand J's social needs better. Well, J will not lack free play time this weekend with her friends. She got 2 birthday parties to go to this weekend. I know she is excited over that. :)